30 Days of Truth – Day 27

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Well, I don’t mind saying it again, but y’all might mind hearing it again.  I’ll say it a million times and still want to say it a million more.  My Envi is the best thing going for me right now.  I know, I know, another person is not something that should be the best thing about YOU, but…  that’s the thing…  he kind of is.  He helps me to see myself more clearly, more fairly.  He helps me to see my strengths and how to approach and overcome my weaknesses.  He helps me to see the world as a broader place both physically (hello, 6000 miles separation) and cognitively.

He helps me see.  <3

30 Days of Truth – Day 24

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter.)

You may think this is an odd playlist and not quite a letter, but it’s not for you, it’s for him.  Regardless, I hope you enjoy yourselves.

Air – Cherry Blossom Girl
Death Cab for Cutie – I Will Possess Your Heart
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Warm Tape
Muse – Undisclosed Desires
Scissor Sisters – The Other Side
Uh Huh Her – Explode
Fiona Apple – Pale September
Sivan Shavit – Flying Ticket
Placebo – Running Up That Hill
Depeche Mode – Somebody
Portishead – Roads
Sheryl Crow – Strong Enough
Wreckless Eric – Whole Wide World
INXS – By My Side
Blue October – Calling You
Goldfrapp – Utopia
Ladytron – Burning Up
Animotion – Obsession
PJ Harvey – A Place Called Home
Sharon Rotter – The Shining
Metric – Twilight Galaxy
Des’ree – Kissing You
The XX – Shelter
Type O Negative – Love You to Death

This playlist takes me through time and makes my heart swell with joy.  This is his passion and perseverance, his romance and demands.  It is my hesitation and acceptance, my restraint and elation.

As this year draws to a close, I can count almost as many months spent with him.  As we celebrated our 10 month anniversary only days ago, my heart assured me that I have made the right choice in sharing my life with him.  My heart assures me of that fact on a daily basis and has done so for a very long time (perhaps even longer than I’d care to admit).  So this playlist shares a little bit of those ten months with you.  This playlist shares a little bit of our love, our trials, our fears, our passion, our life.

Envi, I love you.  Always.  <3

52 Weeks of Color – Blue

Blue. My shoulders sagged when I saw what Luna’s Color Challenge was this week. I have a strange confession to make. I hate the color blue. HATE it. Which is an odd thing to say because I think clear blue skies are beautiful, I think the deep blue ocean is gorgeous, I think the wild blue chicory growing by the side of the road is lovely. But when it comes to clothes, blue is the last color I would wear. Ever. So, it’s even more interesting that, despite the DEEP digging I had to do in my inventory to come up with the couple of blue pieces I did find, I really enjoyed putting together these photos.
I’ll go ahead and give you a two-for-one on the confessions while I’m at it. I know very few people read my blog, that plenty of the hits are Envi (Hi honey, thanks for reading! *mwah*) and that I have no one’s expectations to live up to but my own, but… (And that’s a big “but.”) But I have… performance anxiety? Blog anxiety? I feel this pressure to turn out something decent so I won’t be TOO embarrassed to share with all of the fabulous SL bloggers and photographers I have on my Plurk TL. Now, I don’t have the endurance or the desire to regularly update and I can’t spend any more lindens than I do without going broke as it is, so I can’t quite keep up with all the fashion hoopla, but I was able to teach myself a wee bit of photo editing. Basically, I’m addicted to GIMP now. I want to edit everything. I’m checking out other people’s Flickr pages and trying to recreate effects and emotions that I see and I’m coming up with a bit of a style of my own. I’m getting better, but I’m still not… satisfied? enthusiastic? proud? of many of my photos. And… that whole ramble boils down to two things: I have very little confidence in my skillz and I over-edit as compensation for having no real knowledge of graphical/illustrative/creative whatnot.
I fully intended to work on these some more, making the background go with the blue theme a bit more, but… I kinda love them as they are. So. Here you have it. My unedited, straight from SL, blue blog photos. Enjoy.

Credits:
Hair | *TSM* – Shroom (LE Dark Shines Blue)
Shirt | fri.day – Longsleeve Boatneck.Tee (White)
Bottoms – KHUSH – GeGe (Blue)
Arm Warmers | [Plastik] – Leo Warmer (Psyche)
Necklace | Tea Lane – Bouvier Orange Pearl Necklace
Heels | Tea Lane – Eve Bouvier Orange Heels
Pose, Photo 1 | Exposeur – High Fashion 10
Pose, Photo 2 | Exposeur – High Fashion 4

Windlight Preset | [TOR] SCIFI – Shilarto

Endless Possibilities

Anything is possible when you set your mind to it, right?  That’s what my mother tells me, at least.  That and “If you don’t succeed, try, try again” and “Stay positive” and all that other positive thinking, new age, mind over matter mumbo jumbo.  Well, I still don’t think I believe any of it, but I’ve been feeling inspired, motivated, optimistic, even.

I’ve made quite a few changes since 2010 began and all of them are shaping up to be very positive ones.  I’ve made time for family, even though they’re 500 miles away.  I’ve been doing a bit more socializing in RL (after only 5 years of living here, woo!) with people my age.  I’ve moved on from a… somewhat baneful situation and have been keeping myself healthy and happy.  I’ve found some creative outlets that allow me to express myself more eloquently.  I’ve started school (again!) to get a degree in something that I probably should have pursued from the beginning.  And through it all, I’ve been lucky enough to have someone to support me when I needed a little buttressing.

So, inspired by Envi’s faith, Rae O’ Sunshine’s plurk and GIMPKnowHow, I’ve put together a project that shows what a little hard work and a little confidence can do.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed myself while making it.

BBBC2 – Being Positive

Hmm.  Being positive.  That’s not an easy thing for me.  My nature leans much farther toward the other end of the spectrum.  I tend to wrap myself in negativity like Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, hoping that no one will notice me as they pass by.  The challenge organizer differentiated todays prompt into SL and RL, but I’m not sure if I can separate the two enough to focus on one or the other.  So I’ll try to come up with three positive things going on in either or both of my lives right now.

1.  My family.  Thanks to the passing years adding maturity, I’ve become much closer to my mother and sisters in the last few years.  My whole family has mentioned at one time or another that they’ve walked on eggshells around me so I wouldn’t get upset and act ummm… cranky.  I’ve been working on my reactions to everyday situations and have become a much closer member of my immediate family.  They are absolute gems and I’m so luck to have them all in my life.  I’m even more lucky they stuck around and waited out my stupidity.

2.  Mental health.  While I wouldn’t say I’m rainbows-and-bunnies-happy, I’m not a total mess anymore either.  I’ve had a lot of life changes in the last year or so.  Some professional, some personal, some positive, some not so positive.  But I have been making a conscious effort to deal with all of it in an appropriate manner.  Last summer was kind of ugly after I lost my job as a teacher.  I was left feeling pretty worthless and lost.  My sense of direction is (hopefully) coming back and I have a lot more self-worth than I have had in the past.  I’m looking forward to a healthy summer and the rest of the year.

3.  And last, but not least:  Envi.  You have proven to be such an amazing and valuable part of my life.  I can’t thank you enough for putting up with all of my crap.  You challenge me to be a better person, and even when I feel like kicking your ass instead, I strive to become the person that I can see reflected back at me when I look into your eyes.