Posts Tagged ‘bbbc’

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BBBC4 – What’s my age again?

June 16, 2010

Age.  What an interesting construct.  Granted, you can’t argue with biology, but age is such a fluid thing.  Everyone can picture the spry 90 year old woman who embraces life, beaming at everyone that touches her life, infusing every situation with joy and enthusiasm.  Just as easy to conjure up is the curmudgeon, appearing 20 years older than his chronological age as he scowls at the world, finding only the negative in any given situation.

I know these two characters very well; I was raised by them.  My mother has always had an infectious optimism, even when faced with life threatening illness.  The opposite end of the spectrum housed my father and his failing physical health that was constantly exacerbated by depression and pessimism.  My sister (the poet) recently summed up his mental and physical decline with the haunting observation that “He’s been dying since we were twelve years old.”

Wow, that’s not quite where I planned on going with this post, but it’s always something that pops into my head when age is discussed.  So, with those two contrasting images in my head, I try to remind myself to stay youthful, to stay positive.  My mom has always been the type to embrace her age and stand proud regardless of the stigma attached to each passing decade.  I tend to be the same way, knowing that age is a number and doesn’t have any more control than you choose to give it.  I’ll admit, I flinched when I saw 30 on the horizon, but it didn’t sting nearly as much as I thought it would.  It’s interesting to look at that milestone age and think about where I assumed I’d be at this age.  As a young girl, I fully expected to have at 2.5 kids by now.  That idyllic, picket fence vision faded as I grew older and those 2.5 kids keep getting pushed further and further into the future, until they’re barely a twinkle within the twinkle in my eye.  I used to have such expectations that linked life events to age– go to college until 21, get engaged by 22, married by 23, babies by 25– and I’m slowly shaking off those preconceived age-life links.  Now I find myself having to defend my decisions in the face of other’s expectations about age and milestones.  Luckily, I have a very supportive family and am able to confidently make choices, knowing they will be there for me to lean on when I need it.

And yes, I’ll tell you:  I’m 31, I’ve been married almost 5 years and we’ve been together for over 12.  I don’t have kids, don’t want kids right now, but don’t make any assumptions about what I’ll want in the future, so it’s always on the table.  I do occasionally hear the tic-tok of the biological clock and always set the snooze to go off again in a couple of years.

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Mobile Blogging

June 16, 2010

Just giving this a shot from my HTC Hero since I’ll have to finish the BBBC from Prague!!! (woot)

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BBBC3 – Relationships

June 16, 2010

Wow.  Online relationships.  What a topic…  I guess I could come at this from both angles in the prompt: SL relationships and “RL” online relationships.  But will I?  Hmmm…

Well, generally speaking in regards to Second Life,  I don’t think it’s easy to find a “real” relationship because there are too many people that don’t take relationships formed in SL seriously enough.  So it’s difficult to wade through the manipulators and those just up for a cheap thrill.  But if you’re lucky enough to find like-minded people, I think SL is a great place to meet a significant other.  For me personally, I’ve found SL gives you the opportunity to meet people who’s paths you probably wouldn’t have crossed in your physical, or “first” life.  And due to the controversial nature of my own SLove life, that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Similar to SL, I think online dating/relationships require some work to dig through those you aren’t compatible with, but after that, I think they’re great.  I imagine that it would be SO much easier and much less anxiety provoking to try to meet people online.  At this point in my life, I’m not really interested in bar and bed hopping.  I don’t want to get dolled up in too tight clothes, padded bra and too much makeup to impress a guy that probably has a sock stuck in his pants.  I’m too much of a straight shooter for that.  Chatting, getting to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere…  Much more appealing.  I wouldn’t have issues telling people where we met; it’s common enough these days that the stigma is starting to wane.  I know several couples that met online and one of them is getting married in December.  For “older” people who’s careers or children demand a lot of their time, people who have relocated and don’t have a vast friend base to network through, introverts who abhor the dating scene, or someone who just wants to up their chances of meeting someone, I think online relationships are a great option in the search for love.

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BBBC2 – Being Positive

June 14, 2010

Hmm.  Being positive.  That’s not an easy thing for me.  My nature leans much farther toward the other end of the spectrum.  I tend to wrap myself in negativity like Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, hoping that no one will notice me as they pass by.  The challenge organizer differentiated todays prompt into SL and RL, but I’m not sure if I can separate the two enough to focus on one or the other.  So I’ll try to come up with three positive things going on in either or both of my lives right now.

1.  My family.  Thanks to the passing years adding maturity, I’ve become much closer to my mother and sisters in the last few years.  My whole family has mentioned at one time or another that they’ve walked on eggshells around me so I wouldn’t get upset and act ummm… cranky.  I’ve been working on my reactions to everyday situations and have become a much closer member of my immediate family.  They are absolute gems and I’m so luck to have them all in my life.  I’m even more lucky they stuck around and waited out my stupidity.

2.  Mental health.  While I wouldn’t say I’m rainbows-and-bunnies-happy, I’m not a total mess anymore either.  I’ve had a lot of life changes in the last year or so.  Some professional, some personal, some positive, some not so positive.  But I have been making a conscious effort to deal with all of it in an appropriate manner.  Last summer was kind of ugly after I lost my job as a teacher.  I was left feeling pretty worthless and lost.  My sense of direction is (hopefully) coming back and I have a lot more self-worth than I have had in the past.  I’m looking forward to a healthy summer and the rest of the year.

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BBBC 2010

June 14, 2010

The Big Bad Blogger Challenge, huh?  I’m not sure I’m up to par with some of the bloggers that will be participating, but hey, I like to pretend I’m always up for a challenge.  And wow, 65+ participants with Day 1 not quite done yet.

So, the first challenge of the Challenge:  What to blog about?  Alicia prompted us to reveal why we started blogging, so I’ll start there.  I started blogging due to peer pressure.  Ah yes, our old friend, the pressure exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his/her attitude, behavior or morals to ‘fit in’ a particular group.  Generally, peer pressure has a negative connotation,  but in this circumstance, I think it’s been a very positive experience.  I’ve been challenged in so many ways by my SL friends and acquaintances, even those poor souls that I’ve fangirled over.  I spent some time in SL before finding this group of people who I aspire to call my ‘peer group,’ the content creators, designers, pose makers, bloggers and more, and I’m happy to have them passively challenging me to try new things and put myself out there where others can judge.  Typically I find comfort in much less public and much less trying situations, but I’m inspired by their contributions to make some of my own.  Idon’t  anticipate accomplishing anything close to what they have, but they’ve opened my eyes to possibilities that I hadn’t recognized in the past.

And I’d like to send a special (and fangirl) thank you out to Elysium Eilde, her blog and her creations for sparking my interest in this side of Second Life.