30 Days of Truth – Day 28January 11, 2011
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Right now? After the initial pissed off exclamation of, “Damnit! I’ve been telling people for YEARS that accidents don’t really happen!,” I’d be really excited. And scared. And all the other feelings that future moms have when they find out they have a tiny human growing inside of them. I am a paranoid and private enough person that I wouldn’t tell anyone for a while. Excitement and/or physical side effects (Is that what you call them? Pregnancy really is like a disease or parasite, so I guess side effects works as well as anything) would probably get the better of me in about a week or so and I’d tell the hubs. I don’t know how long I could go without telling Mom, I suppose that would all depend on what part of the phone conversation cycle we were in. No one else would find out until the second trimester. Too many things go wrong during the early weeks, or more accurately perhaps, too many things don’t go right. It happens. And that’s something I’m prepared to deal with, but I don’t need to deal with everyone else too. Mourning, among other things, is something I prefer to do privately.
That’s a very different answer than the one I would have given you 10 years ago. Or even 5 years ago. And I reserve the right to have a different answer tomorrow if I want to. I think that becoming a parent is a very important and conscious decision that an adult needs to make. And I don’t mean that you need to patch your 17 year old family together and get married to some boy that’s gonna bolt whether he’s married or not. I don’t see parenthood as a default. Right now, it’s not a choice I’m making. On purpose. Because I can’t do what I think I need to do for a child right now. But it wouldn’t be a problem to make those lifestyle changes and it’s not something that’s too far in my future. 5 years ago I was in (almost) as stable of a place in my life, but I don’t know if my reaction would have been excitement. And I don’t know if that pregnancy would have resulted in a birth. I think that we’d have a lot more well adjusted adults out there if more parents and potential parents actually thought about what is best and not what is expected.