30 Days of Truth – Day 6November 22, 2010
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
This one is simple. It may not be simple to write, but it’s simple to answer. I hope I never have to deal with the loss of a child. Of course, that’s one of the least imaginable things for anyone to go through. And no, it’s nothing I have to worry about at this point, since children are still a few years away. But after having to deal with real loss and real mourning for the first time… Oh lord… The way my brain works… I’m chuckling to myself as I’m thinking about typing a little “Love you, Daddy” right there and having that thought followed immediately by “Well, I’d say something like ‘Hope you’re enjoying the blog,'” but then I heard him tell me that was stupid because you can’t read anything once you’re in the ground, so… No greetings to the Dad. Okay, fine, it’s only funny to me, whatever. Anyway…
In all seriousness, his death has been the first real loss I’ve had to deal with. Yeah, all four of my grandparents have passed away, but I wasn’t very close to any of them and only remember most of them with a child’s eyes and emotions. So, using my cognitive knowledge that people grow old and die while experiencing the emotions of my first true grief… Well, it’s shown me that I wouldn’t ever want to experience a death that I consider “unnatural” or “outside the natural order of things.” No parent should have to endure the loss of a child. The unimaginable grief and guilt could eat a person alive. I think the only thing that would keep me mentally sound, or draw me back into mental stability would be another child that needed me.
So, enough of the depressing post. Of course there are plenty of trivial things I hope I never have to do, as well, like cleaning the previously mentioned children’s vomit out of my cleavage or from the cracks between the wooden floorboards, but I’d do it over and over again to keep them safe and healthy.