30 Days of Truth – Day 3November 20, 2010
I’ve been tweaking my truth posts a little bit between my RL blog and this one, but I’m feeling too lazy to do it tonight. So not everything applies to this “life,” but you’ll just have to deal with it. Or not. Whatever.
Wow, today’s topic is kind of a toughie. And yes, I’m still considering myself on track for posting each consecutive day because I haven’t been to bed yet. I’m not sure that 3:30am is the right time to be reflective, but my energy drink says it is and taurine is always a good influence, right?
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Forgiveness is a funny thing, no? Forgive and forget, forgive but never forget, never forgive and never forget, the options are endless on this one. Okay, not endless. What’s that math thingy that tells you how many combinations there are for a set number of… oh, nevermind. Forgiving other people is an easy one for me. I’ve already decided. And you haven’t even done anything that needs to be forgiven. (That I know of… *frowns*) I already know who I would forgive for something or not. Or who I would TRY to forgive. And who doesn’t have a chance. There’s a worth it / not worth it cut-off line, of course. What’s that? You don’t have one? Hm. Well… that’s just my poor social skills talking, I suppose and I won’t be able to explain it to you, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. (If you’re reading this, you’re probably on the forgiven side of the line, but don’t go taking advantage of me now!) So, forgiving other people? Cake. Forgiving myself? Not so much.
Something I have to forgive myself for… Just one something? Can it be multiple somethings? If I could get the image of myself on both sides of a Catholic confessional out of my head, I could probably think of something to write about, but I keep blessing myself and then snickering and it’s terribly distracting. Anyway… The one act I keep thinking of is actually one that I’m not ready to forgive myself for yet. And it’s not even one act, it’s a collection of acts packed into carpet bags so tightly that the seams are ripping one stitch at a time.
As the bags fall apart, I’ll follow behind you and collect each constricting garment as it finally slips from your grasp, lessening your load until your hunched shoulders and bowed back straighten and you walk unencumbered, tall and proud, in front of me. You are an inspiration and amazing in every way. I’m sorry I didn’t say it enough when you really needed to hear it. I love you.
See? I told you late night entries were going to be an adventure…