Challenging DiscoveriesJuly 17, 2010
The past two days have been pretty rough on me emotionally. You never realize it at the time, at least I don’t, but emotions and reactions to emotions and reactions to reactions are quite fascinating. Now, I know they don’t feel fascinating when someone is crying or yelling or shutting down, but interpersonal and intrapersonal interactions are amazing. The way you change and grow, or change and wither, when you’re with someone or without someone. The way you anticipate their next thought or move and plan to counter it before it even happens. The warring that goes on within yourself when you’re wrestling with difficult decisions. Fascinating. Now, at the conclusion of the second day, everything has been resolved as well as it could be; a relationship was renewed, a relationship was lost and a soul was searched. In my Second Life profile, I have a quote from an unknown author, I’m not even sure where I ran across it, but it rings true in many aspects of my life right now: Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known into the unknown. So the last couple of days have been about growth. And growth doesn’t sound so scary, it sounds great, actually, but when you realize that change has to precede growth… That’s when my knees start knocking. I’m not good with change, not good with risk, not good with the unknown. But I must have faith in myself to take calculated risks for my heart and my mind and hope that growth is not far behind.